Knocking

It’s frustrating, not knowing if it’s you or them or some combination of the two…

Fresh off of graduation high

There were no limits to the sky

I had a dozen dreams

At twenty two 

that was good enough for me 

With a pen and a degree

A golden road of possibilities 

Maybe I had rose colored glasses 

About glamour and sky scrapers

Fast paced and deadlines

“It’ll be too much pressure”

Supposedly aiming higher than I could see

But what’s an aspiring career creative supposed to do?

Told to take what you can get

“Not enough experience”

Without direction or guidance 

It chips at confidence 

So I made myself small

To fill a resume 

And get a little pay

Micromanaging and gurus

Instead of mentors and leadership 

Work harder, some said

Ignoring the toxic systems already in place

Set up for failure instead of success

I didn’t know how to pause and assess

To pivot, more broadly, and go another way

You say I’m not good enough

Before seeing what I can do

You say it’s not a good fit

But you’ve yet to see me

Leaving me lost 

with empty questions

How do I reinvent myself 

If all I get is silence or half truths?

I’m not in my twenties anymore 

But 2023 has me roaring 

Talking to whomever I can

To find that magic button 

That will elevate my dreams

And I know dreams change 

Landscapes, lifestyles, and markets never stay the same 

Desk life isn’t what it use to be

Blame it on technology

I fault your lack of variety 

Willingness to embrace diversity 

Especially when it comes to those 

Who have different needs

All I’ve ever known is my gift(s)

Wanting to use them

To offer a unique perspective 

And I don’t need a cubicle to use them well

But it would be nice

If you evolved

As I do

And gave me not just a chance

But a real opportunity 

That becomes a trajectory