Chasing Happy

 

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Chasing Happy

I’m probably overthinking this

But hell, aren’t we all?

Everybody seems to want it

But no one really knows how to hold it

It’s an emotion

A feeling

Something that you choose

There’s no one definition

Yet it has become something to prove

 

I feel like I’ve lived a divided life

Before the cloud and then there after

I’d be asked “Why are you like this?”

As the tears rolled down by face

Where’s the answer

To the thing you can’t explain

It’s up and it’s down

Like a rollercoaster

Something to keep at bay

Except from a select few

Who understand and have been there

 

It’s not that I don’t feel the sunshine

Or experience the colors

It’s just on a different level

In smaller pockets

Moments

Rather than circumstances

Because to smile all the time

Would be lying

And I’m not an actress

 

I believe in wholeness, connectivity, and meaning

That we are bound together more by struggles and challenges

Than anything else

And we chase what isn’t that

Because it’s what we think we’re supposed to do

Instead of sitting with the discomfort

Acknowledging what goes on around us

Forgetting that calling out darkness is the beginning of being a light

There’s a balance

Where some days are high

Others are low

Ebb and flow

And so it goes

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