What do you find yourself not needing in the upcoming year?
I know that for the last couple of days, my Reverb posts have been list-like and somewhat bland/repetitive. With finals fast approaching, it has been a challenge for me to always write posts that are clear, deep, and engaging when I’m either giving myself a short break between study sessions, or right before I’m about to begin my day. On the other hand, I don’t want to write extremely long things every day; personally, I find that tough to sift through as a writer. I ask my dear readers for patience as I finish out this last week of the semester. And thank you!
When comes to any approaching new something in my life (it could be a season, month, year, etc.) I try not to think too much about what I want; there is only so much I can control and be able to make happen, but I also don’t want to just sit and accept whatever is handed to me. This is where I find myself thinking about not just want I want, but what I need. And more importantly, what I don’t need.
I don’t need (major) barriers in relationships. Most of the stress that I felt from 2012 was because of a lack of communication between me and either one or more of my friends. It was the main reason why my relationship with my roommate reached a breaking point; she simply would not talk to me about things, particularly what actually did involve me. And whenever I would attempt to talk to her, I would get shot down. Those types of situations get to be too much. I’ve realized that I can’t stand constantly using Facebook or even Twitter to talk to a friend. Not only is it impersonal, but it can be really confusing if the receiver doesn’t get the message in time.
Now it’s just coming up with the courage to be honest about how I feel.
I don’t need to live in fear. Fear is the one word that clouded this last half of the year, and at times made me want to go hide in a corner and not come out. Whether it be the fear of what others would think about me, or the fear of being attacked or winding up in a bad situation again, it was there. I lived in the spirit of constantly being afraid, and I did not feel like myself at all. I think It’s healthy to believe that one is not immune to certain problems or circumstances. But constantly making a point to avoid it can become borderline destructive.
I don’t need excuses not to exercise. Honestly, I’ve been terrible at working out this semester, due to the amount of coursework I had each day or just being flat out tired. Now I’m naturally a thin lady, so those that know me insist that I shouldn’t have to work out all the time. I’ll be blunt about it: I do have an irrational fear of letting myself go and slipping into a physically unhealthy way of life. Yet it’s not just about being healthy, but also feeling healthy. I want to have more energy and feel good. I hate sluggishness and being tired all the time. I need to make fitness a priority, even if it’s just in the smallest of ways.
I don’t need to constantly be responsible for others’ choices or feelings. This is one of those things that I often go back and forth with: if I’m not thinking about or considering the needs of others, I’m selfish. But if I do it too much, I become a door mat and at times put myself in dangerous situations that are difficult to get out of. I wonder if I’m being enough of a positive influence in the lives of my family members, especially the ones that are younger.
In other words, I don’t need to be wonder woman. I don’t need to be carrying the weight of the entire world on my shoulders.
When you realize what you don’t need, it’s easier to recognize and take hold of what you do need.