Stream of Consciousness: Stepping Up and Out

Today I’m submitted my application for The University of Iowa’s creative writing track. It’s a very selective and prestigious program, where only a certain number are admitted. Not long ago, I had my first career advising appointment, where I’m beginning to look for internships relating to my major, and possibly the career field that I want to go into. 

It’s exciting. 

It’s a little scary. 

And slightly…weird. 

I don’t know why, but for some reason I have always felt like a kid. Perhaps it’s the height factor, or my love for anything Disney-related. For a good portion of my life, I wanted to be older, yet it was hard to fathom. Then again, maybe I grew up a long time ago, but am just starting to embrace it now. 

Sometimes it’s hard to imagine being a full-fledged adult, particularly graduating college. You don’t have the structure, and depending on where you’re at, you may not have the community. And again, I’m tiny, which makes things somewhat more intimidating for me than usual. 

But who says you have to be above five feet and wear stilettos and in order to succeed? Better yet, who says you have to have all those things in order to live in the city? (That is something that I would like to do, if possible).  I have the determination of a tiger, and if I want something, I will keep going until God closes those doors for me. 

Which is similar to what I’m doing right now. Researching, writing, and ultimately praying. Writing is definitely a big thing for me right now. Ever since I created a Facebook page for this blog, the urge to write has been amazing; sometimes it’s a blog post, and sometimes it’s a work of fiction. The creativity never ceases, and I have so many stories that are begging to be told. It’s just a matter of getting them into a word document, or on paper. 

I’ve also been interested in writing essays; I submitted one for the non-fiction portion of my application, and am definitely curious to see where it could go. A part of me has always wanted to tell my life story, but not in the typical, chronological way that many tend to do with memoirs. I’d rather focus on the moments, both good and bad, that have impacted me in some way. Other then working toward getting published, I think that’ll be my next project.

I don’t want to be afraid of moving up and becoming a “real adult.” That’s the thing I have to keep repeating to myself; that no one stage of life or season is the end all. There is a time for everything, and it seems a lot better to roll with it, rather than resist it.

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