Break Through

I wrote this after an emotionally liberating counseling session; I had discussed my personal history with those in the group, and the response was overwhelming. It clarified a lot of misconceptions I had held onto about relationships, and I felt a little bit lighter afterward. 

I do plan on writing a blog post about all of this at some point; right now, however, I don’t feel like I’m in a place where I can discuss it without fear or apprehension. So for now, I wrote this. 

Break Through
I’ve been told a lot of lies about love
And I believed them
You can see it in my eyes that I’ve got a few things to work out
Trying not to cry or shake in fear as I walk down the street at night
This isn’t normal or healthy, and good Lord it isn’t right
For many years I carried it in me
That you had to be in this perfect place
In order to have a special someone in your life
 I called myself “Miss Independent”
So I wouldn’t have to be co-dependent
And all along I yearned for a connection
Something that I haven’t really had since I was sixteen
Despite all the chatter I don’t think it’s all that bad
For a relationship to change your life for the better
To push you and keep you grounded
To realize what you’re really capable of
But it’s not just about getting, or even about giving
It’s about learning to live and relate with other human beings
We don’t need one lone person to save us
 But it’ll take the support of others to save ourselves
So it’s time to put down the Cosmos and turn off the computers
Instead putting pen to paper and taking time to see
Not all men are vicious monsters
Some of them have broken hearts
And all of them have a history
I’ve put a barrier up for a while now
And if I want to have a long-time love, it needs to be taken down
Because there is no fear in real love
No need to prove that you’re good enough
It’s going to take some time to break through it all
But I have to break through
In order to break free
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