No Apologies

One thing that people will notice about me right away is that I am very much a sentimental, happy go lucky kind of person. You’ll see it on my Facebook profile, with all the quotes, statuses, and now music video clips that I frequently share. You’ll see it through the things that I’m interested in, and my personality in general. But most of all, you’ll see it in the majority of what I write, particularly on my blog. 

For most of my teen years, I hated it. There were times where I would get playfully teased for being a “hopeless romantic” or told that I was “too deep.” At one point, one person even told me to stop blogging and posting things on Facebook because no one wants or cares to read/see that kind of stuff. (Apparently this person wasn’t aware of the exit button that’s located on most computer screens)

It made me very insecure, and there were several years off and on where I wondered if that was the root of my social struggles. More often then not, my maturity level did cause me to feel a little cut off from my peers, and even some of my own friends (particularly guys). I felt torn between wanting to blend it an act my age, as well as knowing deep down that I wasn’t one to be superficial or shallow. 

In the last couple of years, especially this year, I have become more comfortable and more aware of my identity. I’ve realized that that depth, that maturity and that sense of romanticism are all a big part of who I am. 

Let me break that down: anything you see on Facebook or Twitter, or read on here? Well, that’s just me. 

And I am not sorry for it at all. More or less, I am sorry for those who don’t see it in a positive light or take the time to understand it. I am sorry for those who might be so uncomfortable with another person that they will tell them to stop doing what they love or not to be true to themselves. 

After I wrote about my greatest fear, I received three responses saying how much it moved them and spoke to them. Right then and there, I knew that this blog was more than just my sharing of what was going on in my life, or my thoughts on what was going on in the world. It’s a way of inspiration and encouragement. It’s a way of being a positive example, and giving hope. 

There’s this saying that we all have different experiences; yet, I’ve come to look at it differently. I think we do have somewhat similar experiences, but we just have different ways of reacting to them and dealing with them. It’s kind of sad that some people keep their stories to themselves because they have this idea that no one will be able to relate. In reality, there’s a good chance that at least one person out there knows what you’re going through, and can help be a sense of comfort and healing.

In a society dominated by negativity, particularly when it comes to social media, I think people need that; they need to know that there is more to life than just pain and bad experiences. Too many capitalize on that, and I believe that’s partially why the world is the way it is today. 

Those things are also a way for me to remind myself to take my own advice. Lately, it has helped me to reach outside whatever crap I’m going through and remember how blessed I am. I have been given so much, and I want to be able to pass that on to others. Whether it be a small ripple or a giant wave, at least it’s something. 

I may never know of the results or the impact of my actions; but as long as I am living out to be the person that I was meant to be, and am being a light in the process, then that’s what matters most.

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