Bumps In The Road

As much as I wish that life had this automatic “happy” button, where you could flip the switch and you could be happy no matter what, that just doesn’t work. It will always be full of ups and downs, and whenever you’re done dealing with one problem, another one always replaces it. It’s not being negative, but something I’ve come to accept. 

There has been a lot going on this week, emotionally speaking. I honestly was not prepared for any of it and it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. I will reassure you all and say that it is not a life or death situation, but it has hit me pretty hard. So instead of rambling on about the details, I will share this poem that I wrote. I can’t predict what will happen and how long this will go on, but I will share more if and when I feel the need to. 

Eye Strain (When it Doesn’t Make Sense)

The tides have turned
I’ve lost my footing once again
I felt a rush of panic and a twinge of fear
Not sure where I’ll end up this time around
I’m in the middle of a storm of feelings raining over me
Up to my neck in confusion with a hint of bitterness
I don’t know whether to rejoice or to scream
Preferring to convince myself that I’m someplace else entirely
Any place other than the darkness I’m trying to fight off
Maybe it’s not as bad as it seems
I’d rather not get advice
I know people mean well, but I don’t take easily to comparisons
I’ve had too many cocktails of sympathy
Too many shots of “I know how you feel” and “You’re not alone”
Cliches that don’t do a whole lot of good
If you want to be there for me
Feel free to put your hand on my shoulder or hold me for a minute or two
I might feel the need to let it out
Pure and uncensored without any apologies
I’ve always tried to see beyond the clouds and haze
There’s always a little bit of light that gives me peace
Knowing that it’s just hidden away for a little while

My eyes hurt from all the strain
I’m doing my best to approach it a different way
Let the answers come when they may
I put one foot in front of other
Even when very little of it makes any sense
I just keep the faith

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