Stream of Consciousness: Better

When you know better, you do better

-Dr. Maya Angelou 

I’ve heard this quote many times, especially since I’ve really gotten into watching The Oprah Winfrey Network  on TV. It seems incredibly true, but can be difficult to follow; there are those that make mistakes and recognize that they make those mistakes, but they may or may not change right away. In order to really live it out, you have to take the time to look back and understand not only what you did, but why you did it. 

I won’t rehash anything on here because I’ve already discussed a good portion in my previous entries (see Reverb11) but I feel like that’s what a lot of winter break was for me; it was extremely reflective and calming. 

Yet, starting this next semester has made me a little anxious scared, and I found myself pretty emotional over it. It’s pretty easy to convince yourself that you have everything figured out and that you what you want, especially when you’re away from every day life. It’s not that I didn’t want to come back to campus, because I did. But upon heading back, I kept asking myself “Can I really follow through with all these resolutions and changes that I want to make?” Can I ‘do better’ as the quote above mentions?

When it all comes down to it, you can only prepare yourself to such an extent; like it or not, unexpected things happen. Sometimes the best way is to choose to be in the present and wait and see what each day brings. 

It’s not that I don’t know what I want; rather, I don’t want to get totally wrapped up in the future. That was my biggest problem; “tunnel vision”, as I’d like to call it. You become so focused on one thing that you literally don’t notice a whole lot else. I’d like to move beyond that and invest my energy in other things that are more lasting and beneficial. 

I would also like to continue building relationships that flourished a lot last semester, particularly with my family and friends that I didn’t quite get to know the year before. It has been a blessing having each of them be a part of this journey, and a part of my life, and I can only hope those blessings continue. 

Moreover, I want to experience peace, especially within my living situation. I feel like I’m on my way to better caring for myself physically, but I also plan on focusing on taking care of myself emotionally and spiritually. 

Here’s to my second semester of my sophomore year in college, and the beautiful memories that come with it!

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