One At A Time, Please

Day 15-Anticipation 

What’s the one thing that you’re most looking forward to in 2012?

In an earlier entry, I confessed that I am a habitual planner and worrier. I like to know what I’m doing, how I will go about doing it, and the amount of time and work it will take. As 2011 is coming to an end and 2012 approaches, I’ve found that I honestly don’t want to heavily anticipate much of anything. It’s not because I don’t think anything good will happen, because chances are, there will be a lot of good things. But for once, I would like to truly learn what it means to let the pieces just fall where they may. There are a lot of unknowns right now, so I would rather not look too far ahead into the future, especially if they relate to what I am not in control of. 

That’s not to say that I will just sway where the wind blows; it’s important to set goals and strive to accomplish those goals. However, I’ve come to understand that I need to be open to all the possibilities, instead of just setting my sights on the best or worst case scenario. Change, especially unexpected change, is very much a part of life. If you don’t learn how to go with the flow and work with what you have, there’s a chance that you’ll never get to where you’re supposed to be. 

And maybe not having some kind of “plan” for the coming year is perfectly all right. After all, we can only map out our lives so much, and nine times out of ten it doesn’t usually happen the exact way we envision it. In church, I’ve been taught how it’s important to do what you can and leave the rest to God. Maybe I want to know what it’s like to genuinely live that out. 

If there’s one thing in the near future that I’m looking forward to, it’s my twentieth birthday. I know that in our society, twenty is extremely meager compared to twenty-one; but for someone who’s doctor once told her parents that she might not live through her infancy, let alone do a number of things that I have accomplished thus far, it is kind of a big deal. I’d like to call it my “miracle birthday” and I certainly will give it the kind of celebration that it deserves! 

As of right now, I can’t say for certain what 2012 will bring. Yet, I feel in my heart that it will be a turning point; I’ll just have to wait and see.

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