Stream of Consciousness #15-Starting Over

I don’t know what it is about Labor Day weekend that always stresses me out; usually, you’re supposed to relax and leave your cares behind for a couple of days. However, that’s not the way it happened for me. Like last year, I found myself physically and emotionally and exhausted, stretching myself to the point where I almost snap. Granted I did not do formal (sorority) recruitment this year, but it kind of feels like it with all the running around I’ve been doing lately. And by running around I mean going back and forth from my apartment to classes, meetings, student organization activities, etc. 


Over the last few days, I’ve begun to get the feeling that I’m going through somewhat of a starting-over period. Although campus and University life isn’t exactly new to me, there are definitely some things that are: I am living in an apartment as opposed to a dorm, I have a rather tedious courseload unlike the previous two semesters, and I’m involved in a lot more clubs and organizations. All of that has got me on quite a busy schedule. 


So far, apartment life has had it’s fair share of ups and downs: I love having my own bedroom to myself, where I don’t necessarily have to delegate the smallest of things with my roommate. I love having my own kitchen where I can cook my own food and not have to eat the same stuff all the time. And most of the time, I love living in an area that isn’t quite smack dab in the middle of campus. 


Yet, it has not been easy either. The place isn’t exactly in the best shape, so we’ve had to deal with getting a lot of stuff fixed or completely replaced altogether. Since it is a bit of a hefty walk, I frequently come back from my last class of the day feeling as if I am about to fall over. 


The hardest part is that I often tend to get lonely; my roommate and I both have rather busy schedules that keep us apart throughout the day. Some days I have to spend all of my meals eating by myself or walking back from town alone. 


And truth be told, I don’t like being alone for long periods of time. Academically there are positive aspects to it because I’m able to easily focus on school work and do what I need to do. But eventually my mind will start to wander and my overactive imagination kicks into high gear. 


The good news is that I now know that I am not alone; I have finally started putting down my pride little by little and confiding in my friends and family members about things. It’s comforting to know that I am not the only one trying to keep my expectations from being too high or finding a balance between my school work and social life (and not losing my sanity to either). 


I would say more, but it is fairly early to predict what exactly is going to happen. Nevertheless, I am doing what I can do remind myself that everything does happen for a reason, and that God is not going to give me more than I can handle. I know that I will learn from it and ultimately become a better and stronger person. Despite my frustrations and worries, I know that I just need to focus on the present moment and the rest will take care of itself.

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