Now what would happen if my intuition were an actual person?
What she’ll tell me in the following conversation is no-hold’s barred with no amount of sugar on it. It”s not clean and it’s not pretty. But in the end, it does make a lot of sense.
“All right, sweetheart, let’s get down to business. You’re not listening to me. Or should I say, you’re not being completely honest with yourself.”
“What do you mean? I listen to you. Didn’t I choose education over friends when it came to choosing which high school to go to? Didn’t I go to the college that made me happy as opposed to what would have been physically easier to get around on?”
“Yes, and those have turned out to be wonderful decisions. But I’m not talking about school here. I’m talking about dating, falling in love and all that stuff that you tend to make more difficult than it actually is.”
“Oh, right. It’s not that I don’t listen to you, it’s just that I want to give the guy a chance.”
“Honey, it’s one thing to give a guy the benefit of the doubt if you have a decent feeling about it. But if your stomach is in knots from the moment you meet him, and all you’re thinking about is that it probably won’t end well, then it’s best to cut your losses while you can.”
“But what if he’s just trying to get to know me?”
“If he asks about your virginity and just how far you’ve gone within a short time of meeting you, more than likely he doesn’t want to get to know you. He wants to get to know your body and eventually get into your pants.”
I don’t say anything for a little bit, knowing that she’s right. “Well, I have made up a list of standards!” I want so badly to change the subject already.
“Lady, it’s about damn time!” she laughs. “Now tell me about them?”
I name off the five standards that I have come up with in the last couple weeks.
She nods approvingly. “Can I ask, what in the hell took you so long?”
“I was afraid that I would be expecting too much.”
“I could give you an entire list of what expecting too much really is, but that’s not the point of this conversation. Another problem is that you’re often afraid, especially of your own feelings. And you shouldn’t be.”
“But what if I do or say something at the wrong time? And what if my feelings don’t meaning anything at all? That’s what I’m afraid of.”
“Number one, if you don’t know when another opportunity is going to come, maybe it’s best to just do or say what you need to say while you have the chance. Number two, a good feeling is never worth fighting off. Sometimes you just can’t help it.”
I nod and slowly take in what she just said.
“Al, you know deep down who you are and the kind of woman that you want to become. You have the power and the ability to become that person. It’s just a matter of listening to yourself and having the courage to follow through with it.”
Intuition is a very powerful thing, isn’t it?