Stream of Conscience #10

It’s the fourth day of Summer Break; I am here at home, drinking coffee and watching Shania Twain’s new reality show on the Oprah Winfrey Network. It sounds a little dull, but I have to say that I’m enjoying it. This summer feels different, like I’m looking at it in a different way this time around. In the past it was always about hanging out with friends every single day and doing something all the time. I think this is the first summer season where I’ve started to realize that both my friends and I are becoming adults and we’re not going to necessarily be spending all this time together like we used to. They have jobs, and I will start working at my own job in a couple of weeks. It doesn’t mean that my social life is not going to exist, it just means that I understand that the concept of summer in itself isn’t really what it used to be. 

In a more positive light, I’m viewing this summer break as a time to do things that I don’t always get to do when I’m away: I get to read for more than just an hour or two, I get to watch TV, I can go to church, and I can actually sit down and write without it having to be a research paper or some major assignment for a class. I want to spend time with my family, especially my brother, who will be leaving for basic training in a little less than two months. I want to catch up with those that didn’t get to visit me while I was at school and actually talk with them. 

And granted, I do miss campus already to some degree; it’s weird how much one has to rely on communication and planning ahead in order to do something. When I was at school I could easily just text someone five to ten minutes beforehand and most of the time a car wasn’t needed in order to get from point A to point B. It’s weird how on a Friday night I was at home thinking “I’m usually downtown dancing my ass off by now” as opposed to already getting ready for bed. The hardest part will be not being frequently surrounded by people to talk to. I know there will come a point, probably a few weeks from now, where I will say “I feel so isolated from everything else. I’m lonely, and this sucks!” 

But for now, I’m just trying to take this particular time for what it is; a time to just relax and recharge and not have to be stressing out about life. I’m beginning to get into a routine where I work out almost every single day and hopefully by the time the warm weather officially hits, I will be physically feeling good enough to wear a swimsuit. Note that this is not about weight; when I was away I was frequently putting all this crap into my body and it made me feel like a lug. I’m on a junk detox, if you will; but more about that in later time. 

And since I will be getting my own apartment, I have a lot of stuff to buy. So there will be shopping, (my favorite..tehehe) and I’m hoping to make some decorations and stuff for the place. I ultimately want to put my creative mind to good use. 

It’s summer after all, and the living should be easy. And that is how I’m going to go about it.

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