Resilient…Or Resistant?


We all go through tough times; no matter what anybody says about how they’re going to be happy all the time, it just doesn’t work. What goes up, must eventually comes down. Where there is sunshine, there eventually has to be clouds; you get the idea, right?

In a personal sense, the hardest yet most eye-opening concept about 2010 was resilience; that is, being able to get up and bounce back from whatever struggle one may be facing. I’ve never believed myself to be good at it: in my early teenage years, I always thought it was easier to hide in someone else’s arms or cry until I couldn’t cry anymore. I knew in the back of my head that I would survive, but enduring any kind of pain scared the hell out of me. It was like walking on hot coals at times; and if I didn’t have to do it, I didn’t want to. 

However, I have learned over the years that 1.) God will not give me anything that I cannot handle 2.) It’s all about your attitude and the way you deal with something and 3.) Whatever I’m going through, I know that one way or the other, I will get through it. 

These days, I find the more difficult thing is not necessarily enduring a personal trial, but reaching out to other people and admitting that I do need help. While I fully understand that I cannot do it alone, there are times where I feel like I have to. Depending on the situation, it can be because I want to prove that I am a strong woman. There have also been a few people, including my mother and specific close friends, that have seen me go through some incredibly painful experiences; more often than not, I feel indebted to them because of it. To put it this way, they have seen me at some very low points in my life; now I want them to see me happy…I don’t want them to see me struggling. 

But that’s what the general concept of friends and family is; being able to love and be there for each other, both in good times and down right crappy times. And when you don’t allow those people to be there for you, you tend to rob yourself of so many things; you don’t get to make a connection with someone that could end up becoming a prominent figure in your life, and you keep yourself from connecting deeper with those who are already a part of your life. 

So if there’s one thing you should ask yourself, it’s “are you being resilient…or just resistant?”
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