Future Self

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?

In 2011…
Stop taking yourself so damn seriously; you’re constantly wondering what kind of impression you’re giving the people around you; you want to be “different, but in a good way” and yet you feel the pull that most people your age feel when it comes to trying new things. There’s no need to feel guilty about it, because chances are everyone goes through something like that. And by focusing too much on how you act around others, you will blindly start becoming someone you’re not. Why? Mostly because you’ve done it before. So no matter what happens or whomever comes into your life, just be exactly who you are. Some will love and appreciate you for it, some won’t. Keep being the sweetheart that you are and just live. 

Don’t worry about what may or may not happen in the coming year; Take each day as it comes and cherish things for what they are. Allow yourself to have bad days and to cry if you need to. If something is on your mind, let it out; the people that really matter will be there to listen and put their arms around you and take care of you. Be open to change; some things turn out to be better than you expected. 

And now for a bonus, I will write a letter to the person that I was four years ago. I was fourteen/fifteen and a freshman in high school

Dear Fifteen year old self, 

You’re just coming from the top of the middle school totem poll and will now be at the bottom of the food chain once again; but this time it feels so much scarier because you’re going to a different school than the majority of your friends, and you don’t feel very confident in your decision to do so. You have found an amazing faith in God and are involved in a great church, yet your experiences that took place a couple of years ago are still holding you back and clouding your mind. And as much as I hate to say this, it will be part of the reason why you won’t feel like you’ve gotten very much out of the next four years; because when it comes down to it, you’re terrified of trusting new people. You still feel a sense of loyalty to your old friends and will spend most of this year and the next going back and forth between them. Don’t stress out over it; allow yourself to get to know your classmates and stop worrying about the others. A good portion of them will continue to be a strong presence in your life, despite that you’ll rarely see each other and won’t exactly talk all the time. There are going to be so many people that come in and out your life that will make such a positive difference. 

You’re going to meet plenty of boys, I assure you. Sadly, a lot of them are going to focus on the superficial crap and not really pay all that much attention to you. Either that or you will become really close to them, only for them to walk out of your life somewhere down the road. You’ll wonder what you did or said to make them do this, but it is not your fault and it never will be your fault. It’s not that they didn’t or haven’t ever cared about you, its just that a lot of them make better friends than boyfriends They see that you’re very mature for your age and may or may not be ready for that kind of relationship. Mostly, they probably don’t know how to love you the way you want to and/or deserved to be loved. 

In order for someone to love you, you have to first be able to love yourself (both the good and the bad qualities) you have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and recognize that you’re beautiful…because you are, without a doubt, both beauty on both the inside as well as the outside. It will take a long time for you to come to that conclusion; but nevertheless, you will get there

If there’s one thing you will learn, it’s to not think along the lines of “well, once this happens, things will get better.” You have to realize that you cannot depend on your friends to make you happy; YOU have to be the one to make you happy. You have to be able to find the joys in each day and within yourself. 

You will experience and equal amount of joy as well as pain; there will me moments where the feelings of depression will start to hit you again, and your self esteem will hit several lows. You’re going to have your heart broken, mainly by the person that you considered to be your best friend, and someone that you had a real connection with; but it’s not going to have anything to do with you. It will mostly be because of issues that he will deal with personally, and such issues that are beyond your help or control. Just know that God is going to take care of the both of you and everything will make sense in time. 

You will grow in so many ways from all that you face in the next four years. Your hard work, determination, faith, and somewhat stubborn personality will eventually bring you to a place of peace and contentment. It will be a place where you feel free and full of life. 

So no matter what happens, never forget to enjoy each moment that you’re given and make the most of what you have. 

All my love, 
Your Current Self

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